Friday, April 30, 2010

Why do you feel a need to give advice?

should someone tell someone else what they should do in a situation when their own life is a mess? or if they have made the same mistake? what is it that gives humans the desire to spread their ideas? why does everyone believe they know the right answer?Why do you feel a need to give advice?
Giving unwanted advice is unwise. The same is true with advice given to someone who is not capable to understand or appreciate it. The following sums it up in a poetic language.





';The wise are they that speak not unless they obtain a hearing, even as the cup-bearer, who proffereth not his cup till he findeth a seeker, and the lover who crieth not out from the depths of his heart until he gazeth upon the beauty of his beloved. Wherefore sow the seeds of wisdom and knowledge in the pure soil of the heart, and keep them hidden, till the hyacinths of divine wisdom spring from the heart and not from mire and clay.';Why do you feel a need to give advice?
They don't believe they know the right answer, they believe they can help. so what? get over it! maybe its fun. when somone asks, it means they feel the need to simply because they don't know! when people answer, it feels good to help. it is good karma.
I give advise ';only'; if asked, or if I can help prevent someone from hurting themselves. Advice comes from someone who knows what they are talking about from personal experience.


Does the person giving the advice have an underlying motivation, or is it 'independent'? There are some individuals that truly believe they know the right answer. Unfortunately, that's not so; you can make up your own mind based on your own results, before coming to a conclusion on a particular piece of advice. ni ni....
Some feel the need to give advice when they are asked for it, others give it because they're more experienced and think they can help, still others give it out of a sense of superiority or wanting to be in control. We give it to our children, little or big, to try and save them from mistakes. It never works.
Self-importance. They have a need to boost their own sagging, limp ego, so if they give someone advice the more important they feel. If the person takes that advice, the more the ego of the advice giver inflates. If that advices turns out to be stupid and dead wrong, the advice giver of course takes absolutely no responsibility. After all it was simply advice.
I seldom give advice unless the person appears open to it. I strongly feel that everyone is entitled to go to hell in their own way.
I understand that you are going for a walk in the woods tomorrow. There is a place covered with leaves, making it hard to see, that will cause you to fall in a 20 foot deep hole, so be careful.............. I've been there but I would not want to tell you what to do....................
When I'm asked by someone what I think or if someone asks for my advice.... I will give them advice. I give advice because I've gone through a similiar situation. If I can help someone get through something easier (because I learned from the hard way)then I will give them advice. When I give advice I don't think it's neccessarily the right answer...I'm just giving some insight. The person can take my advice or leave it.
When we give advice to others it is really (subconsciously) our way of giving that advice to ourselves. We only need to give advice to others when we don't take heed of our own inner wisdom and truth. We do have the right answers, but only for us. If we all just followed our own advice we would all be much better off I think.
I am not trying to give advice here...perhaps some questions in here were on my mind too once and I would like to know what others answer to that question...giving advice is really tough...we are merely exchanging opinions...
well i give advice if someone asks for it. most of the time it's a lot easier to solve someone else's problem rather then deal with your own life. you know what you have to do yourself, you just get so caught up that you convince yourself it's impossible to figure out.


people want to be heard, they want people to see their point of view, and if someone can relate, that's great.


your sharing your point of view right now and I'm telling you want i think. people need to be reassured by other humans, makes them feel like their opinion is worth something.
we humans are social beings, not only do you we NEED people around us....we WANT people with us....when we give advice...we are helping a fellow human being overcome something...even if you yourself could not. Sometimes people give advice so that they will feel needed...in the sense that it was you who helped someone through a rut. People CHOSE to give advice because it seems like the right thing to do
I do not claim nor have I ever claimed that any answer I might give is correct OR accurate!





The whole point of this site is an outlet for some to ask, others to answer, others both. Insight, intelligence, experience is willing to be shared by many, (many times pearls being cast before swine) and without expectations of gaining anything in return other than offering assistance to fellow human beings. Ones life being a ';mess'; doesn't mean their advice is wrong or unusable or doesn't have merit or meaning or substance or validity or value.





One of my questions is: Why do so many people ask things on here, often times extremely idiotic common sense things then complain about the answers or types of answers?





I know that many of my answers have actually helped and made a difference in some way. Its by choice however, I have no control over how any particular answer is perceived.
It makes people feel better about themselves. Look at how this forum works. You ask a question, people answer it, and the best answers are rewarded. I am not answering this question to give you pleasure (indeed, I have no way of knowing if you will ever read this) but rather to please myself.





People like to be recognized. Back when people lived in small communities, you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. Especially in today's world, there is a great feeling of isolation and anonymity and by helping strangers, you gain some form of recognition, a sense of being important.
It is much better to get some ideas than none at all. If you said hello and never got an echo back you would have to figure you are all alone and that would not be a good thing.
because it gives you some sense of validity that you have control of your life, when you really don't. because it makes you feel like you are not alone in your own mess-- that other people create the same mess and then you don't feel too bad about your mess.





But i think people like to hear advise, even though 90% of the time they don't listen to it. I think people already know the answer, but they look to others advise as guidance or food for thought when they make some sort of decision in their life.





i guess its just part of sharing the human experience...
For one people ask you to give advice so you try right. I think it is human nature for people to want to help and feel like they are smart. It can be good for someone to give advice if they have been through the situation before then they have expirence. People like to be listened to so they try to give advice wheather they pull it out their butt or have first hand knowledge. Everyone wants to be a doc phil.
You'll get 2 types on here.The people that feel the need to spout off their opinionated drivel...or the types that have been in a certain situation and want to warn others.Anyways,you can tell the difference if you use your gut.
Because they are human and it is part of their nature (EGO). We like to talk about ourselves and will flap our lips to anyone who will listen.

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